I remember the sky and how huge it was. I remember the sound of the river and the steam rising up from my tea. There was no time, no thought, there was nothing– just the light and a profound, limitless stillness. Then I regrouped and picked up a stone and threw it at him.

-Pema Chödrön, American Buddhist monastic– about the day her husband told her he was having an affair and wanted a divorce

Welcome, dear warrior.

Make yourself comfortable.

Smile. And remember to breathe.

Let’s breathe deeply together for a moment, before we begin.

Inhale. You are here.

Exhale. You are home.

And…

Hello!

I’m Sui (that’s pronounced sway) and this is cynosure (sye-no-sure, or the north star, or something that serves to guide), the home of my digital work. I write, I speak, and I photograph. Most importantly, I love.

I write about love– loving self, loving others, loving the planet. I write about life, happiness, and growth. I write about eating, food, and body image. I write about recovery and awakening.

I write about my journey– my journey of loving myself, of learning to be more honest and understanding, of recovery and healing, of the beginnings that arise in each new moment, of waking up.

Let me tell you my story:

My childhood consisted almost entirely of fear and abuse, both physical and emotional.

I was 11 when I started binge eating to run away from feeling anything.

I was bullied throughout middle school, and I was 13 and depressed when I started self-mutilating and contemplating suicide.

I was 14 when I had my heart broken, making me retreat into binging even more.

On my 16th birthday, I was sexually assaulted, and I began developing a serious eating disorder. I starved, binged, and purged for several years. During those years, I lost the ability to cry. I couldn’t feel anything but numbness, food-induced anesthetic.

I eventually stopped restricting and purging, but I still used binge eating as a way to escape my emotions– to escape myself.

I hated myself and I hated my body.

I was 18 years old, living alone 500 miles away from home with no friends and no comfort, when I realized I had to start loving myself– or die. Not a physical death, but something worse– an emotional and spiritual death.

So I started. I started learning to be present and to let go. I started changing the hurtful thoughts in my head into something constructive and positive. I started learning how to love my body, care for my body, truly honor my body.

I started learning to be kind to myself.

I created this space because I wanted to start a revolution (an RVXN, if you will). A revolution of loving ourselves, of truly being kind to ourselves, and of learning to extend that kindness to others.

But first, we had to learn to love ourselves. Without our basic love for ourselves, we cannot give to anyone else.

My message in one word: Love.

My message in one sentence: Extend love, compassion, and empathy to ourselves, to each other, and to the planet– and embrace your truth, no matter what it is, and the peace that’s always present within.

I’m here to share my journey and, hopefully through my stories, illuminate yours.

Let’s be revolutionary.

Let’s be love warriors.

Let’s love ourselves. Let’s love the world. Let’s live fearlessly, give generously, and grow endlessly.

Let’s illuminate the world with the infinite power of our spirit.

Won’t you join me?

Dive right in with free love + inspiration in your inbox
and get intimate with secret letters on the list:

“Cynosure is both a safe haven and inspirational beacon for anyone who’s ever struggled with eating disorders or self-acceptance. Sui’s writing is beautifully simple and raw; it penetrates to the reader’s very core.

This is the voice of someone who’s been there and emerged from the other side gifted with wisdom and the burning passion to share. If you need guidance, support, love, and encouragement for who you are right this very second, this is the place you want to be.”

♥ Ellie Di Julio, The Headologist