Some people do personal growth “trials” to cement new habits. Some people plan their business or career or life.

I don’t pursue intentional personal growth anymore because I realize that just simply getting up and living my life fully means I’m forced to grow every day.

And I don’t plan “life” stuff like that, period. (When people ask me what I’m going to do, I don’t know what to say. Who of us ever knows what we’re really going to do?)

But after a somewhat tumultuous inner life (read: my relationship with myself) in October, I decided it would be helpful if I eschewed the whole personal growth trial thing and the business plans that I never made and really focused on taking care of myself this November.

I wrote on Google+ that my intention this month was to:

• to understand myself better (and therefore love myself more)
• to eat mindfully in a way that is kind to my body, heart, spirit, self
• to take care of my mental health
• to defy the lizard brain and Resistance and do what works for me, no matter how hard it seems
• to be mindful and present in my life

I’m starting it out with a 7-day burst (or “trial”). I decided that I would start over, back to day one, every time I don’t do a “daily,” not to beat myself up or punish myself (that kind of defeats the purpose, after all), but to really stress to myself how important it is that I take immaculate, loving care of myself every day, no questions asked. I take that back. I’m simply approaching every day with the intention of taking care of myself. Counting how many days I do it doesn’t do anything to influence my actual actions.

Here’s my daily:

1. Wear what makes you feel strong!
2. Meditate
3. Move (run, yoga, take a walk)
4. Do your best to eat what makes you feel good when you are hungry
5. Go out
6. Spend time with friends
7. Be present, mindful, and aware of how you feel, especially 
8. Tune into your emotions and your needs– do self-empathy
9. Gratitude and celebration

Here’s my things to do, not necessarily daily:

1. Take an aimless walk
2. Go hiking
3. Take baths
4. Do nothing for an hour

One thing I realized was that I started drinking more water when I first began doing yoga, but then I fell off the wagon, not drinking enough water both on days I did yoga and days I didn’t. I’m usually such a water fiend, so realizing that I was letting myself get dehydrated was a big orange flag moment.

So here’s my action plan for health and wellness (my definition of health = simply, feeling good in my body– which is so important!):

☐ Drink more water
☐ Floss
☐ Fresh fruits and vegetables (an addendum to that: Making sure I HAVE the fresh food in my house to eat in the first place)
☐ Move
☐ Breathe
☐ Sleep early
☐ Wake early

That last one– waking early– isn’t about personal growth or getting more things done. It’s a realization of what works for me– acknowledging that: 1) I love mornings, 2) the later it is in the morning when I wake up, the less I want to take good care of myself because I don’t have as much time to do what I want and need to do.

Want to make a comprehensive self-care plan of your own? Here’s how:

1. Ignore everyone else’s suggestions. Do what works for YOU.

   This means that just because your favorite superhero (ahem) puts “go out and hang out with friends more” on zir list, doesn’t mean you should if you actually feel overwhelmed by the amount of social obligations you have.

   Say NO to whatever anyone else is doing. Say YES to what works for you.

2. Don’t know what works? Take the time to find out.

   After all, true love is understanding, and understanding comes from paying attention– didn’t-cha-know?

3. Do NOT use this as an excuse to beat yourself up or chase some feeling of accomplishment and success.

   Do what you need to do to take care of yourself not so you can indulge in the fact that you did it. Do it to love yourself. Do it just to do it. Don’t think about the goal. Let it all go. Just do it.

4. Be gentle.

   This isn’t a game and this isn’t a competition. There’s nothing to check off and nothing to beat yourself up about. This is not about being perfect (which, by the way, is impossible)– this is about taking care of yourself. If it’s not in kindness to yourself, you’re missing the point.

   If you forget to do a thing or two one day, that’s okay. Just do your best next time. And if you fall and fall again, that’s okay. It’s all about the process, the learning, the growth. It wouldn’t be fun if it all came easily.

Bottom line, a self-care plan is all about making YOU feel loved and cared for.

So do it with love and care, and forget everything else.

If you make one of your own, I’d love to see it. Link back to this post or let me know on Google+.

—

Speaking of gratitude, check out my guest post at Weightless: Why I’m grateful for my hunger.

We’re exploring fear, ego, self-love, weaknesses, and all that good stuff on the Letter. Make yourself a cup of tea and settle in.