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I want you to throw away everything you’ve heard, read, seen on TV about nutrition and eating– carbs are good, carbs are bad, eat three meals, eat six small meals, eat protein, never eat sweets– and read this.

What I’m about to tell you is common sense. It’s also called mindful eating.

The problem is that the U.S. and many other developed countries lacks a unifying cuisine other than burgers, fries, and processed food. That unifying cuisine that we lack is what guides other cultures to their, at this point, natural food choices.

Which has led to what Michael Pollan calls our national eating disorder.

I love food. I love eating it, reading about it, purchasing it, digesting it. But I’ve had issues with eating normally before, and there seems to be nary a female (or male!) in this day and age who hasn’t.

So stop depriving yourself of anything.

I promise you that if you eat like this every day, you will eventually shift to your natural weight, size, and body composition– which is unique for every individual– WITHOUT dieting or depriving, WHILE eating what you want… and you will be a lot happier for it.

How to Eat

As enjoyably, healthily, and sanely as possible.

1. Wait until you’re hungry.

But what is hungry? Many of us don’t eat when we’re hungry. We eat when we’re bored; we eat when we’re watching a movie; we eat when we’re with friends, without asking ourselves– and our stomach– first.

Am I hungry? Or how about: What is hunger?

What does being hungry feel like?

Hunger is not depression or sadness; hunger is not the desire to celebrate by eating cake. Hunger is not the will to go numb after work with an open fridge.

Hunger is the body’s need for sustenance, not the mind’s.

After all, hunger is the best seasoning. Food tastes a million times better when your stomach is actually yearning for it.

2. Eat exactly what you want when you are hungry.

And make sure it’s ABSOLUTELY exactly what you want. (As long as you don’t have any related allergies/illnesses, of course.) Don’t think about how many calories are in it (and not all calories are created equal anyway, so the fact that diet soda has zero calories doesn’t mean anything) or its nutritional content. If anything, ponder how it makes you feel afterwards– will it give you energy or leave you crashing in ten minutes?

Just ask yourself: Is this exactly what I want to eat? Will it satisfy my hunger and my appetite right now?

Fulfill your cravings when your body is hungry, and you will never feel deprivation or the need to binge.

If you want chocolate cake for dinner, don’t eat a “normal” meal just so you can get to the dessert– just eat what you really want to eat. Granted, you might realize after eating dessert as dinner for a few nights in a row that your body yearns for some real food (i.e. fruits and vegetables), and you might naturally want to eat something else eventually. Adjust accordingly for your own health, but truly strive to satisfy your own cravings at all times.

I’ve eaten chocolate for dinner and ice cream for breakfast– when my stomach was empty and my body was hungry. I eventually realized that that wasn’t what my body was hungry for or needed, but I still was able to satisfy my appetite first and then shift, not because any sort of diet told me to, but because I realized my body needed real food.

3. Sit down and enjoy your food.

Now that you’ve waited until you’re hungry to eat exactly that tasty food that you want to eat… why would you waste this delicious moment by doing something else (watching TV, surfing the web, reading, zoning out completely, driving)?

That’s not to say, “never eat and read”. But when you do eat, just eat.

Pay attention to what you’re eating. Savor every delicious morsel. Stay in the present moment, don’t think about anything, concentrate on the food. Eat and savor as slowly and carefully as you can. Remember to chew. Remember to taste your food. Really, truly enjoy the blessing of being able to eat food when you’re hungry.

Pause between each bite. Feel the textures of the food in your mouth.

Eat with awareness, with mindfulness. Be conscious of every action– lifting the food to your mouth, chewing. Observe the textures, tastes, colors of what you’re eating.

As long as you do have food to eat, truly make the most out of the experience.

4. Stop when you’re full– or 70% full.

That’s it. When you feel yourself getting full– or 70% full– stop. The 70% suggestion is so that you never feel bogged down by the deliciousness in your stomach. And it’ll be kinder on your digestive system, as well. Oftentimes, we stuff ourselves silly without realizing that digestion actually exhausts our system.

Don’t pressure yourself to clean your plate. In fact, don’t clean your plate at all unless you’re actually ravenous enough. (Especially not at most restaurants, those portions are ridiculous.)

Just eat until you are pleasantly satisfied. Ideally, before you feel like you’re bursting through the seams. It takes our stomachs 20 minutes to really feel full, after all. Wait 20 minutes and sip water to test if you’re still hungry.

And finally… 5. Enjoy digesting.

What? You mean this, this utter enjoyment of eating, it’s not over yet?

Nope. As long as you’re eating, might as well enjoy the aftermath. Try to be conscious of how the food feels going through your body, as you absorb the energy you consumed. Take a walk… or not.

Just be aware.

And feel the beautiful cycle after digesting: your stomach emptying, eventually feeling hungry again…

Then, repeat.

(Note: Some parts of this might not apply to those with certain dietary restrictions or diseases, so if you think you’re one of them, check out a medical professional first before changing your eating habits!)

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I’m a big fan of honesty now. especially since meeting and getting to know someone who’s done (what I thought was) the impossible– knowing everything about me, in complete honesty and openness and all, and still liking, even kind of adoring me– it’s become easier to be myself, nothing held back. I felt stifled by my own preconceptions, my own insecurities (a recurrent theme in people living in developed countries these days), my disbelief that people really care or want to know the truth. so I repeat phrases like “I’ll be honest: …” as if it’s something different. but it’s not different anymore– in fact, when was it ever? when did I really, truly lie?

the answer is not often (at least, not consciously). I started over in this journal because I wanted to lose everything. (there’s something about losing everything that etches, simply, life. but that’s for another day.) because I wanted to learn again. how to write, really write. to be honest but also regain that tone. a characteristic tone. “maybe none of us are not original, but that doesn’t mean we’re not meaningful.”

the difference between “honest” and “candid”. that’s what I mean by “I’ll be honest”: let’s be blunt.

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