My humble inbox after I’ve cleared it all out.

A reader wrote to me a while back that she really wanted to subscribe to the Letter but hesitated because her inbox was so full of other subscriptions. I thought that that was an interesting (and all-too-common, unfortunately) conundrum that I wanted to help remedy (and not just so people have more room for me in their inboxes ;)).

I’ve read (citation needed!) that the reason why so many people have trouble with their email is because we were never taught how to properly deal with non-analogue (i.e. nonphysical) “stuff.” (You can fit so much on a microSD card. Isn’t that frightening?) It explains why, when I look at the inboxes of some of my friends, I see a lot of emails– many unread, and all in one place.

Getting control of your inbox, in theory, shouldn’t be that hard– but there are now countless info products and e-courses of all kinds aimed to help you do just that. Forget having to fork down a couple hundred dollars for an escape from your inbox overwhelm– I’ll just tell you the way I do it and you can try it out for yourself for free. ;)

I wasn’t always like this. It wasn’t until I started unplugging in September (and went on a weeklong retreat) that I realized how freeing it could be to simply forget about the digital world for a while. It’s tricky for me especially, because, as you can see, my work is (right now) almost all in the digital space. When I was creating like crazy over the summer, I bet half my time was spent (or wasted) refreshing my inbox and Twitter. (Which explains my intentional absences from the latter.)

The thing is, there are good reasons why we get overwhelmed by all this digital input. I’ll explain that as I talk more about my process.

Here’s what I do to free myself from the abyss of neverending emails:

1. I don’t own a “smart”phone.

I don’t have a phone with internet, plain and simple. I deleted the Gmail notification app off of my computer long ago. (Back when I was on LiveJournal, I had the LJ notification app and would refresh my friends page every quarter of an hour.) I turn off my notifications for ALL apps. Even if I really wanted to, I refrain because I know it won’t be beneficial or healthy for me. (Loving yourself, check.)

I unplug from my cell phone sometimes, too– I turn it off or I don’t check it after dinner or until noon the next day.

The internet is always on, that’s the thing. But we don’t have to be. We have lives outside the internet (I hope). We can remember what’s really important, and truly live live live our lives instead.

If there’s a truly urgent emergency, people will find a way to reach us. And it probably won’t be through email.

2. I don’t check email until the end of the day, or after I’ve finished my most crucial work.

I’ve been slipping on this one as of late because of the book release festivities, but the thing is, I recognize that my “need” to check email actually comes from somewhere else. Why do I feel like I “need” to check email? Because I’m yearning for social connection and validation. Email gives me a temporary sense of socialization with others during my work day.

The thing is, when I check my email first thing in the morning, it hits the “on” switch– the “email on” switch. Then, even if I try to get other things done, I continue to return to the inbox every 15 minutes. Honestly? It feels good– much like refreshing Facebook once felt for me. But when this “email switch” is on, my mind is automatically sent into a flurry. I rush through my meals. I forget to breathe. I start running around trying to go to the bathroom as quickly as possible so I can return to my computer. I start to go mindless.

The “good” feeling is a result of compulsion, not nourishment. It’s akin to addiction, and that’s rarely healthy.

When I don’t check email at all until the end of the day– or only on a certain few days a week, even!– I’m free to actually work on what’s really important. My head honestly feels clearer, and when I do sit down to check my messages, it’s with mindfulness and genuine presence. I don’t just send off cursory responses– I really absorb what other people are communicating to me.

And when I have already done my work, I try to be as mindful as I can before I even log in.

Before I open my inbox, I breathe.

I ask myself (if I haven’t done any work yet or am procrastinating, and feel the urge to check email) why I’m looking at my email. What needs do I have? What do I think will be fulfilled by that simple act?

And then I log in.

(Another tip: I never stay signed in, so that I always have to pause before opening my inbox. Just another pause of mindfulness for me.)

3. The moment I log in, I open all my emails, organize them immediately, and label almost all of them “to read/respond to” (in Gmail) and archive them before even really looking at them.

If it’s a newsletter, I label it that.

If it’s an email a friend has sent me, I label it that.

If it’s an email notifying me of my sales, I glance at it and archive it.

I basically label and archive EVERYTHING right away when I enter my inbox. Why? Because just seeing all of the stuff there overwhelms me. I know I’m not going to read or respond to it all right away, so I put an important label on it and get it out of my sight for one moment, first.

(Also, I love Gmail’s “priority inbox” feature. The only stuff on my main page are what’s unread– which is usually nothing, after I’ve gone and sorted everything– and my inbox, which only has a few of my favorite inspirational messages from the Universe.)

The only things I leave in my inbox to read immediately are Notes from the Universe. (And this month, I’m also retaking Gratia– yes, I take my own courses; everyone can benefit from more gratitude reminders in their life, after all!– so those are in there, too.)

I read what the Universe has to tell me that day.

I focus a few seconds on the gratitude topic for the day.

Then, and only then, do I attend to reading and responding other emails.

4. I keep my emails as short as possible.

I resisted the five sentences tenet for a while. But email is for communicating! I love my words!

Then I realized that the way I used email before I started working in (and with) my inbox had to differ from the way I used email after my work became mainly digital.

In the past, I’ve written very long letters via email to friends while overseas. I had more time for that once upon a time. I don’t have that time now.

So I keep my emails as short and to the point as possible. I don’t subscribe to an arbitrary number of sentences (5?) but I do do my best to be concise.

I’ve also found that getting to know someone online is way easier through Skype or at the very least text chat, anyway– as opposed to sending them a long letter.

Besides, I use snail mail if I want to make my correspondence truly special.

5. I subscribe only to what’s really important to me.

I’ve become very good at clicking the “unsubscribe” button. I used to be subscribed to a lot of random lists I didn’t really care about. (The extreme cases are the more spammy lists that I don’t even think I signed up for.)

If you’re on this list and you don’t care about what I write, I encourage you to subscribe. The unsubscribe link is always there, ready for you to click! I don’t want you to waste your time :)

I still subscribe to a few newsletters that I don’t absolutely love, but I think they’re interesting. I also have a few paid subscriptions to other lovelies’ letters as well, as I enjoy supporting my fellow digital creators.

Our lives are short and our time here in this world is precious. You don’t need to waste it on emails you never read or that don’t enrich your journey or bring you joy.

In conclusion…

Email is a great tool for communication, but it can’t beat real, in-person connection and presence.

So throw your smartphone into a swimming pool (like one of my friends did, admittedly by accident) or at least keep it off when you’re not working or when you’re not actually committing to being present online.

If you’re going to be online, be online completely. Put all your presence there. Absorb new ideas. Read great work. Get inspired. Watch cat videos… uh, what? (Just kidding– looking at cute cats is one of my favorite pastimes. That needn’t be crossed out. ;) And yes, I am a crazy cat lady. And I do like cake.)

If you’re going to be offline– i.e., the entire rest of this living thing that we do– then be there completely. Give all your attention to the present moment, and be here and be now.

When I’m not chained to my email, I feel much freer. I’m able to have the space to be more mindful and present. I don’t just have it, though– I cultivate it, day after day, by being intentional with my email.

Inbox 0 can be a determining success factor– or at least one component of the maintenance of your mental and emotional sanity, no matter what your relationship to the digital world– but you don’t need to break your back or have to pay someone else to teach you how to achieve it.

If this post was helpful to you, please share! Click through to use the buttons below this post to forward to a friend. Thanks, warrior!

read more:

1. the man who didn’t believe in love.
2. true love is paying attention.
3. how to give yourself empathy [7-part series]