please support me in following my dreams ♥
When I feel both profoundly uncomfortable and scared to publish something… that’s when I know I’ve succeeded.
—
I know I said I’d be writing about weight this time, but something else came up and I wanted to share with you first.
For the past couple of months I’ve been dissatisfied with myself and where I am, in the world, in my journey. Once upon a time my only dream in life was to “be happy”– check. But after that, what else could I do, what else was there to strive for?
I feel that admitting I’m in school is like a confession. Maybe because I don’t particularly want to be.
Last quarter was the first quarter of school in my life that I actually gave more than the absolute bare minimum of effort to my studies. Assiduous was a word of the day the first week of school, and I decided it would be my word for three months.
And I succeeded. And I felt accomplished, if only temporarily. And I realized I didn’t really learn anything more from doing any more.
I saw college as the final panacea to my childhood-long weariness with education. Surely it would grant me more freedom, surely I would finally learn about things that I cared about.
But I’ve never really felt like I’m actually learning something. All I’ve learnt from my classes– even in a less “conventional” major that won’t easily land me a high-paying “job”– is that when people talk about the “modern” era, they don’t mean the present.
Woo-freakin’-hoo.
I don’t mean to knock education down, and I know many of my friends and classmates will be some of the greatest lawyers, doctors, researchers, optometrists, pharmacists, businessmen, and engineers of all time (of all time).
But me?
I’m still figuring it out. I know what I’m fiercely passionate about, what I’m good at, what will (I hope) benefit you and you and you. I just need to live a little (or a lot) more and find the right way to make it work.
As long as I know I won’t ever have to say, “How I wish I had done this or that…” I know I’ll be fine.
With that said, last night led to some frightening new beginnings:
My new photography site:
Sui-Solitaire.com
(& Other Photography)
If you have ever enjoyed any of my photography, please follow my new photography blog and support me in making my own dreams come true.
After all, I’m the only one who can. 
Thank you always.
(I’ll be periodically posting links when I update Sui-Solitaire.com, but never fear– my personal photography will still, for the most part, be posted here.)
This is just one fraction. There’s always more to come, more to explore. Next victim, after photography, is writing 
—
I don’t want to idolize anyone. I’m not going to follow in anyone else’s footsteps.
I’m just going to be me.
—
For more goodness, get updates through RSS and follow me on Twitter.
tags: follow your dreams, honesty
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March 2nd, 2010 at 00:12
after writing?
You should look into culinary… or a translator.
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March 2nd, 2010 at 02:00
Good luck!
Lisa’s last blog: what a month
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March 2nd, 2010 at 10:31
awesome! follow your dreams, girl! My husband is military and his company is in riverside county at march air force base but we’ll be moving to san diego mid next year. i know its a waaays off, but when we do move, i’d love to hire you to take some photos of my daughter.
Kat’s last blog: now that Josh is working again, i think i’d like to make bento lunches for him to take to work.
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March 2nd, 2010 at 15:09
Very cool! I am sure you’ll be able to succeed, no matter what you do. I wish you the best of luck! You continue to be a source of inspiration to all us readers.
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March 2nd, 2010 at 15:35
@Kat: I would be honored to ♥
@James H. Stock: Thanks!
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March 2nd, 2010 at 16:20
I think dreams are the most important and precious thing you can have. It’s difficult to break away from ‘the path’ – and as I learned, having support is so important to feeling like you can succeed.
I support you. I applaud your bravery, and I hope your journey makes you smile, obstacles and all.
Good luck, Sui. ♥
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March 2nd, 2010 at 18:23
You do realize that all your food porn could effectively make a rather profitable career right? The pictures alone already tug at our primal hunger motivations all you need is enchanting words to tug at the little willpower that is left.
Furthermore, here’s another line for those time when the mantra “i am me” doesn’t quite work and world breaks down and apart.
Be indomitable. It doesn’t mean unbreakable, it simply means when you break down, you’ll simply get back up.
but me being me can’t quite leave on such a serious and ominous note.
You’ll be great, the world seen through your camera is paradise =D
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March 2nd, 2010 at 18:23
I’m so proud of you, girlie.
And yes, education just isn’t for everyone. Hell, I have two degrees and am not doing anything that would make someone thing that I had two degrees. Following your heart becomes paramount for creative types. I’m glad you’re doing that.
Alicia’s last blog: …outfit post: making amends…
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March 2nd, 2010 at 19:37
supporting you in your dreams is what i’ll do!
i shall add your new link =)
i TOTALLY understand how you feel. to be honest, what is HAPPY anyways? i too feel that life… “just sucks”. i already know that i’m not happy with job. my 5 years in college earned me a degree that i probably won’t ever use. and i am constantly conflicted with following my dreams vs. paying the bills.
anyway, i didn’t meant to rant on, but i just want you to know that i understand where you are coming from…
don’t give up! keep doing what you love doing. even if you don’t do it full time. just devote enough time. let it be a channel for you to escape reality and just be happy doing something you enjoy. it’s obvious you have quite the skill with the camera so i look forward to seeing success in you photography!
* f i g h t i n g * ! <3
Christine's last blog: you me we’re just fine
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