loving you is all I want to do…
But that’s so hard to do, with the things you put me through.
Feel this Way by Consequence feat. John Legend
Don’t you feel like that sometimes, about yourself? You desperately want to love yourself, but sometimes what you put yourself through, like holding onto guilt or resentment, not taking care of yourself, being too self-critical– makes it harder.
“Loving myself is all I want to do.”
That’s all you need to do, anyway (love yourself, that is), to be happy– everything else will fall into place eventually.
Now tell that to yourself. Aloud or not. Ten (that’s 10!) times. Every morning. Every hour and minute you need to be reminded: “Loving myself is all I want to do.”
But how do you love yourself, or even learn to love yourself? I know it’s not as easy as just someone telling you to love yourself, but for now, if you believe (with all of your being) in the statement: “I love myself”, you’re already one step forward.
And don’t be afraid to be yourself. Being yourself is one more (HUGE) step towards loving yourself– and that expression of yourself, in its stubbornness to refuse to simply become whatever anyone else tells you to become, is revolutionary in its own right. (Ever wonder why that particular combination of letters comprises “rvxn”.org? But that’s an explanation for another day…)
NEVER be afraid to sing your own song, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. (Blue sky in the sun? It doesn’t even make sense! But I love it anyway because he’s so unafraid to express himself.)
—
Speaking of loving yourself (and your body!), I love Eric’s comments on “this is me: cellulite & stretchmarks”:
Fat is HOT… cellulite is devastatingly gorgeous. the ripples of the ocean of wisdom.
[..]
“If she is taught to hate her own body, how can she love her mother’s body that has the same configuration as hers?- her grandmother’s body, the bodies of her daughters as well? How can she love the bodies of other women (and men) close to her who have inherited the bodies of their ancestors? To attack a woman thusly destroys her rightful pride of affiliation with her own people…”-Clarissa Pinkola Estes p.203 (bold mine)
On that note, a talented musician friend of mine, Stebbo, wrote an amazing song, which he describes in his tweet: “Girls: You’re beautiful,” so you know I’m going to love it! (On that note, he “blames” me and “you are beautiful” for this song!) Listen to the song “Beautiful” here!
And in response to Eric saying “Fat is HOT”:
@rvxn Not all fat is hot. Empowered/confident fat is. Meek/shy fat isn’t.
[..] Although that does go in line with the idea that you gotta love your body. And that’s the part of it that’s hot.@iamstephenliu (Stebbo)
Finally, check out this wonderful post by Kat at Girl Germs. That’s true beauty right there, the kind that inspires and moves.
Salutations, Sweetheart ♥
How are you loving yourself today?
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tags: be yourself, eric r., link love, music, quote, stebbo, true beauty, you
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February 24th, 2010 at 19:21
Some times when people talk about loving oneself its always related to body image and physical features. There are times when the person so filled with love, energy, and confidence cannot love themselves. Beauty and loving oneself can be something different entirely.
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February 24th, 2010 at 19:31
@Johnathan: You bring up some great points.
A lot of what I write tends to address body image, because it’s a common source of self-hatred for many people in this society, and because it’s part of what comprised my personal self-hatred in the past. But I believe even the most physically “attractive” people cannot be beautiful (not necessarily meaning physical beauty, but overall beauty, beauty of soul, heart, & mind, which to me is much more important– when I talk about beauty, I usually mean the beauty that matters) if they don’t have self-love & self-respect.
However, in my belief confidence is a result of loving yourself. You can’t have real confidence if you don’t love (and believe in) yourself.
And, referencing the story “the man who didn’t believe in love”, you can’t really (know how to) love and respect someone else if you don’t know how to love and respect yourself first either.
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February 24th, 2010 at 19:49
You have a valid point, however, I believe that is it possible to love others without loving yourself. There are times when you care for others so much that you forget yourself. Think about all those people who do things for others but they don’t ever do anything nice for themselves. I’ll bring up the film, 27 Dresses for that example. I don’t agree or suggest that this is a good thing but its a thought on the other side that many people don’t consider or sees. Sometimes pain and depression comes from too much love, than lack of.
Confidence is totally applies to self-love I agree. The only thing is you can fake confidence but you cannot fake love. I believe in myself and my abilities but sometimes I’m not sure that comes from love or just who I am. I feel confident with success and the things that I accomplish. Does that necessarily mean I love myself? I don’t know.
Johnathan’s last blog: The Mission – #1 Screenplay
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February 24th, 2010 at 20:02
@Johnathan: I haven’t seen 27 Dresses, but doing everything for everyone else is not love, it’s martyrdom. There’s a fine line between loving others and trying to make one’s self a martyr. If you don’t love yourself, what you call “loving others” is really empty. To be able to love, you must also learn to receive love, especially from yourself.
Loving others is happiness, so if it’s making you feel pain and depression, I don’t consider that love at all. What many people call “love” isn’t really love, then. It can be selfish, or pointlessly selfless.
I used to try to be selfless, but all that caused me was pain. Being selfless I’ve realized isn’t really love. If you don’t love yourself, your loving others might not even be helpful.
Have you read that story (the man who didn’t believe in love)? (You can read it here: http://s.rvxn.org/2010/02/04/the-man-who-didnt-believe-in-love/ ) While that story mainly discusses romantic love, it explains why you can’t love anyone else without loving yourself first.
Who you are is full of love!
You are made of love & divinity, and every bit of the world is a part of divinity, or what some people call “God”. Just being yourself is a way of loving yourself, of respecting who yourself is and thus not denying yourself self-expression. Respect the divinity within yourself.
It can be difficult to learn to love yourself. But it’s worth it, and you (& everyone else) DESERVES it. At least.
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February 24th, 2010 at 21:38
By smiling at myself in the mirror.
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February 24th, 2010 at 21:50
i sincerely think we need to stop trying to validate ourselves by the numbers we see on a scale/clothing. i think we need to start looking at ourselves from a health aspect more than anything. because either end of the scale (no pun intended) being too overweight or too underweight is unhealthy. period.
i am guilty, to this day, of being over obsessed with numbers. today was my first step to accepting myself how i am and judging my lifestyle from how i feel inside and out rather than how i look.
does that mean i’m putting away my curling/flat iron and make-up? oh heck no! but only because its something i TRULY enjoy. i have no problem walking out my front door fresh outta bed with bed head and make-upless.
so heres to walking with your head held high and breaking the stereo type.
Kat’s last blog: this blog and the documentary America the Beautiful has inspired…
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February 24th, 2010 at 22:07
@Kat: The first sentence of what you wrote is exactly what I want to delve into further.. the problem with seeking validation through external things like numbers on a scale, etc.
I’m glad you’ve taken that first step, and may you may take many more steps soon! :]
And yes, the whole point of enjoying life & loving yourself is doing what you want that brings you happiness. (That’s the point of feminism, too: actually giving females a damn choice to decide if they want to wear makeup or do anything that some extremists think “fetter” females from accepting themselves.)
& Amen to that!
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February 24th, 2010 at 23:53
[...] The rest is here: Tell yourself: Loving myself is all I want to do. » cynosure [...]
February 27th, 2010 at 06:18
Great post. Very true words.
fashion roadkill’s last blog: le tour
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July 11th, 2010 at 15:35
I’ve been “loving myself” quite a bit the past few days by being a lot, lot more vocal online. I don’t know if it’ll pay off the way I’d like, but I do know I’m feeling more comfortable simply speaking. And I’m certainly more comfortable with the few thoughts I’ve produced, and with what they mean.
ashok\’s last blog: Emily Dickinson, “It is an honorable Thought” (946)
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