this is me.
Hi.
I’m me.
I’m 5′ 5″, or 165 centimeters. I was, and still am, too short to model, though once upon a time I actually had such a desire. (Nowadays I’m on the other side of the camera, capturing the beauty of others instead.)
I haven’t weighed myself since summer 2007. I don’t even remember how much I weighed back then. Frankly, I don’t care.
I used to cut off the size labels on most of the clothing I wear, but I still remember them. One of my strapless dresses is size large. And a year after I got it and cut off the tag, I really don’t care at all. It’s a versatile dress and the straplessness suits my shoulders well.
I have short legs and wide hips. I love my hips. I am bottom-heavy.
I have stretchmarks and cellulite on my thighs and hips. I have stretchmarks on my arms, and my arms are soft and padded. My cellulite is proof that I am woman; I would never want to hide it. I am soft all over; My softness is my womanhood.
I have deep creases in my stomach where my tummy divides into rolls.
I have broad, broad shoulders.
I never shave… anything. My armpits only recently started growing thick, curly hair. My legs have been hairy for years. They’re also covered with scars from mosquito bites.
I have a dent in my jaw from a fall last summer. I have a pimple scar between my eyes. I have an overbite.
I never wear makeup. I wore more makeup when I was 10, trying too hard to grow up, than I do now.
I went to eat dumplings over the summer, and my parents’ friend asked if I liked to eat them frequently. The answer was yes; and her response was “No wonder she’s so fat.” I shrugged it off and laughed and didn’t care at all, and kept on eating those delicious dumplings.
This is me.
I know I am beautiful, and I love myself.
This is me. The cellulite on my thighs, the stretchmarks on my hips.
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Now tell me: What do YOU love about yourself?
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tags: self-portrait, true beauty
February 7th, 2010 at 17:29
Beautiful!
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Chenxi’s last blog: THE PLANET IS DYING, AMANDA UY
February 7th, 2010 at 19:58
i loved this post… you are beautiful.
i’ve fought with myself (and my body) a lot… but finally gave into accepting myself and loving myself for who & what i am! it’s rather freeing, isn’t it?
http://www.daniellebarbe.blogspot.com
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Danielle’s last blog: new single – self destructive
February 7th, 2010 at 22:09
im crap at writing/grammer actually everything to do with the english language you cud say im pretty much a retard….
so i dont really know what to say except your words really touch me… you are an amazing writer and very brave to put yourself out like this!
and i admire you for that!!
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fadetoblack’s last blog:
February 8th, 2010 at 00:13
loved to read this intro.
February 8th, 2010 at 01:53
This is such a beautiful post. I am going to strive to think the way you do.
February 8th, 2010 at 08:51
♥
i think your words alone could heal [people].
February 8th, 2010 at 11:40
i’m blown away! what an honest, moving post! and beautiful pictures.
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daron’s last blog: j. [circles]
February 8th, 2010 at 13:09
sway you are amazing (: !! As long as you are healthy that is all that matters!
February 8th, 2010 at 14:32
you are beautiful inside and out and you are beautiful no matter what you look like
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Oliver’s last blog: I need to get back on track–academicall …
February 8th, 2010 at 15:11
I myself am not a fan of makeup on woman.
Too unnatural for my taste.
February 8th, 2010 at 19:20
smile more
February 8th, 2010 at 21:58
We should switch shoulders. I haz womanly shoulders
February 9th, 2010 at 00:23
your posts are always so empowering!!
i am happy for you, that you have the confidence to embrace yourself for who you are and accept that beauty has no boundaries.
i have to admit that i too wish i can look myself in the mirror and feel the same way you do, one day.
i agree with what kay says up there! as long as you’re healthy, you have everything already.
i plan on going to SD too! so whoever who makes the trip first!
we can definitely go on food adventures and take pictures of what we eat. i’ll take to you eat dumplings. we can “get fat” together!
btw; i have added you to my blog subscriptions tooo, since your post about the musician and the instrument.
February 9th, 2010 at 03:42
You are seriously gorgeous. I love your spirit. I wish everybody thought the same way, with an optimistic point of view. Life’s too short to be negative and hate yourslef for your “faults”
February 9th, 2010 at 13:19
i LOVE this post.
i think this is a display of true self confidence. you’re fabulous!
February 13th, 2010 at 10:50
this was fantastic
i’m so happy for you that you managed to surmount this psychological barrier!! i’m still trying to love myself for who I am… not always succeeding but trying nonetheless…
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lynnette’s last blog: 新年快乐
February 16th, 2010 at 17:07
it’s hard to describe how beautiful and heartbreaking your post is. it is beautiful to see someone willing to open up and expose themselves to the world as an act of self acceptance, of love. and well, heartbreaking in the sense that it reminds me of the life struggle that it is being me, of being someone who hates herself. i can only wish that one day i’ll be wise enough to stop beating myself down. but in the meanwhile it is nice to be reminded that there is some beauty in this world -real one-, both of heart and body. thanx
February 17th, 2010 at 13:44
love this post…..just love it.
February 18th, 2010 at 16:41
[...] didn’t write this post for… [...]
February 21st, 2010 at 03:21
I have all those you have and much much more.
February 23rd, 2010 at 15:54
Fat is HOT. “My cellulite is proof that I am woman” cellulite is devastatingly gorgeous. the ripples of the ocean of wisdom.
I can still smell the air of Santa Barbara at 2:00 am on a midsummer morning and feel the burn of the telephone against my ear.
February 23rd, 2010 at 16:12
“If she is taught to hate her own body, how can she love her mother’s body that has the same configuration as hers?- her grandmother’s body, the bodies of her daughters as well? How can she love the bodies of other women (and men) close to her who have inherited the bodies of their ancestors? To attack a woman thusly destroys her rightful pride of affiliation with her own people…” -Clarissa Pinkola Estes p.203
and for the sake of poetry,
on menarche:
“When you first realize your blood has come, smile; an honest smile, for you are about to have an intense union with your magic. This is a private time, a special time, for thinking and dreaming. Change your bedsheets to the ones that are your favorite. Take baths in wild hyssop, white water lilies. Listen to the voices of your visions; they are nearby. Let annoying people, draining worries, fall away as your body lets what she doesn’t need go from her. Remember that you are a river; your banks are red honey where the Moon wanders.” -from Ntozake Strange’s ‘Sassafras, Cypress and Indigo.’ 19-20
February 24th, 2010 at 18:00
[...] of loving yourself (and your body!), I love Eric’s comments on “cellulite & stretchmarks”: Fat is HOT… cellulite is devastatingly gorgeous. the ripples of the ocean of wisdom. [..] [...]
February 24th, 2010 at 22:21
this post truly moved me to tears. and the quote Eric Roberts posted is so true. it made me think about how i put myself down in front of my daughter. how can i expect her to love and accept herself if i cant accept myself? it breaks my heart to think about how she had to hear that kind of talk from me.
i have vowed to love myself and teach my daughter self love and respect.
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Kat’s last blog: this blog and the documentary America the Beautiful has inspired…
February 24th, 2010 at 22:56
@Kat: I’m so glad. It’s better for us and our children to strive towards creating healthy and self-loving environments for not only them but ourselves. ♥
I’ll be here for you on your journey if you’d like