Comments on: a story (my experience with eating disorders and self-recovery)

By: sui

sui — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 19:25:36 +0000

@hello from the east coast: thank YOU for your beautiful & inspiring comment. ))
you saved yourself. :]

By: hello from the east coast

hello from the east coast — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:54:17 +0000

sui,
your post hit me deeply. i’m recovering from a mild ED, and i’ve slipped these past few days and have almost fallen into the same cycle of self-hate. you’ve saved me from another round of pain.

i don’t know you at all, but i love you and wish you all the best! you are strong and beautiful; never give up!!! your writing is also amazing =)

By: Wei-Wei

Wei-Wei — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 08:55:57 +0000

I think I love you.
Wei-Wei\’s last blog: parmesan black pepper biscotti

By: my second favorite word, honesty » cynosure

my second favorite word, honesty » cynosure — Sun, 30 May 2010 13:14:23 +0000

[...] This story is unfinished. It always has been. And I’ve been feeling like maybe it’s almost even a little false at this point, because somewhere along the way, I did start binging again. And I did start feeling.. utterly confused as to why. And problems have come back. [...]

By: Mr. Brite Lite

Mr. Brite Lite — Sat, 15 May 2010 21:14:22 +0000

i forgot to comment this one… ;__;

By: The Best Of The Past Six Months (or, Unmissable Writing That Might Change Your Life) » cynosure

Tue, 11 May 2010 19:12:33 +0000

[...] My Experience with Eating Disorders and Self-Recovery [...]

By: cynosure » the problem with living– or non-living– is that it’s too easy to make excuses.

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 23:36:40 +0000

[...] a result, I sunk back into my most unhealthiest of habits (read: it has something to do with eating), felt unhappy that I’m making unhealthy choices, used feeling sick and disgusted with myself [...]

By: cynosure » archive » reflections on 2009…

cynosure » archive » reflections on 2009… — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 21:03:30 +0000

[...] do my work on time and attend as many classes as possible for the first time in my academic career. I open up about the eating disorder from my past life to the world. I close three domains I’ve had for 7 years and spin even bigger dreams for the one left. I [...]

By: san san

san san — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 06:33:42 +0000

I’m going to say bluntly that I love you for you who are!
And this post is very touching (almost brought me to tears!)
I’m one of those who read all the way to your bibimbap (which caused me to make some panini. OMNOMNOM.)

Simply Inspirational.

By: eric r

eric r — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:52:23 +0000

See I don’t really know what to say about this. I’m happy that you’re better but also I didn’t exactly know about this anyway. I’m reading from this a situation that there was a hole in the soul that it was your goal to make whole. Food releases dopamine (meth also releases dopamine) and so I’d guess that its naturally addictive.
I guess what matters is where you are now. I think that I don’t inspire people much, but because I know some brilliant people who take others as a learning example, sometimes my friends may be inspired by me due to their own inclination towards inspiration. This never happens when I try to benefit others, but only when I do my best, to love myself in the spirit of love for others.

I really have faith in you, dear. What matters is where you are now, I feel.
And then at a certain point I would suppose the cause is gone and all that is left is a self-perpetuating obsession?
sorry if I sound like I’m analyzing it but I’m listening to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJr8VOQDaiM&feature=related
the middle part, and its not really the best thing to listen to when reading this entry because its so chaotic and unfortunately fitting…?
But you’ve come out of this it sounds like. The storm can’t harm the sky, right?
I think I said that you’re a starship because I can’t imagine hurdling through space, like this and going from a place like that to a place like this.
OKAY so now I should give you a meaningful reply since you wrote this for us/me. The compliment that doubles as advice is, that I think you can continue at this pace through outer space, and continue to go, go, go… but if one becomes attached to the going, then one is inhibited, and realizing this, another asteroid belt is passed through at an effortless velocity that leaves it a glittering dust behind the thrusters. Like the boy in His Dark Materials who clung to a dead fish because his Daemon was severed from him, so many people are clinging for dear life to the body images and foods and good and services that make them horribly insecure in the “happiness” that they’ve received, as it falls short, just in the manner that the chocolate cake presented to my laboring aunt fell short of the pain medication that the doctors said they wouldn’t give her (true story. Here you go, and they gave her a slice of cake instead, how fucked up is that?).
So, Starship, run the blockade. Do it for us. Show us that someone can. Be like the man who effortlessly tightrope walked between the twin towers, who inspired people below to know that FEARLESSNESS is real.